Multi-Disciplinary Artist & Futures Designer


Techno-Sexual Awakening

July 2018, London, UK

This is a post to celebrate a long-held curiosity: the future of our sexuality.

It fascinates me as I envision machines to significantly enhance our capacity to consciously love and make love.

Technology is our mirror. If we train our perception to look in that mirror with clear eyes, beyond the blur of outdated conditioning and free from the emotional burden of the past, it may help us to enhance our capacity to love ourselves, and thus each other.

If we look at the world of today, this vision seems rather naive. Yes, we have virtual sex all the time, as we're merging ourselves with the interbeing simulated by the ever-stretching legs of the addictive world wide web. But it's objectified sexuality and vanity that rule the web nowadays, not enlightened intimacy.

But I also sense a different wavelength.

The trend of techno-sexual awakening is taking up storm on that same ever-stretching web. We may allow the emergence of this new sexual revolution to weave a new thread into our brain, the one that doesn't look at the future of tech as something that further disconnects us, but as something that only magnifies our experience of non-duality and thus connection. So that we may start to look at machines as an extension of ourselves.

Then, when an algorithm triggers our senses to heightened sexual arousal, we may not be so shocked as we realise we have been already tripping balls in a holographic virtual reality all this time.

Enter the world of VR porn and the lush erotic jungle of entangled holographic bodies

Back in 2015, when I was visiting a friend who was studying at Singularity University in the US, someone put a pair of VR glasses on my nose. I was a new-bee to this technology, and had been curious to experience it as I'd envisioned its potential to the educational, the medical, and the entertainment worlds.

But there I found myself not watching an animated Pixar movie, instead, I was lying with widespread legs on a bed in a sketchy hotel room, while Don-Juan himself was approaching me with his remarkably large and hard cock pointing right at me. I shrieked and chuckled uncomfortably, to the hilarity of the people around me. I was not only watching a full blown porn movie, I was the star of the show!

As that experience was actually enticing [blush], I started to realise the potential of our technologies to penetrate our skin to the sensations of not only sexual arousal but potentially also love. Or, at least, the illusion of it.

Since then I've explored the very extremes of love in this world, experienced the highs and lows of the rising tides of interconnectedness that we experience as we fall in love, and the pain of separation that comes after it. During the course of my life I've been in open relationships, bi-sexual relationships, amazing relationships, toxic relationships, short-lived relationships, and longer-lasting ones.

I concluded, as you may have, that the depth of my relationships determines my happiness. And it's not always true that a 'good' relationship also leads to 'good' sex.

So what about our 'relationships' with machines, will they teach us how to make love?

I learned to make love from my Classical Latin teacher in high-school, who one day showed up in class with a banana and a condom in her purse to teach us the very art of love-making. She then reduced the sacredness of my sexuality to a piece of plastic fruit.

However funny at the time, I already doubted this was how it was meant to be. I didn't think we would really want to live in a world where we teach our youngsters only the very mechanics of lovemaking, not the essence of it: that it's not about the act nor the goal, but the process of intertwining yourself with the essence of another person. To deep dive into a cocoon of safety where you're free to transmute old wounds of suffering into treasures of tantric pleasure. Not quite into a piece of plastic fruit.

The very blunt but honest thing to say now, is that we may have all this time made love like machines. Focussing on the physical: the masculine principle of sexuality, which is goal-oriented towards orgasm. Suppressing the connection, the spiritual aspect of sexuality, as connection is vulnerable and the bedroom is for showing off.

We have all this time still allowed that prostitutes please our men and live in a world where anger, fear and oppression, born out of sexual frustration, rule the night and day in politics and business.

And we think this is normal, because we don't know better. We grew up with it.

I grew up on the Dutch countryside with my parents as their only child. I have fantastic parents, but I can't say they've really prepared me for sexual awakening. Luckily I had a friend with a crazy mum living close-by. She was the one throwing birthday parties that turned into witch-circles where little girls were introduced to the craft of magic while baking apple-pies.

One day she took us in the car and drove us to the city of sins: Amsterdam. Not to go and see Madame Tussaud's or play in the Vondelpark, but to drive us through the Red Light District.

I remember myself sitting on the backseat looking through the window into dimly-lit streets where women of pleasure were teasing men. I remember some red curtains being shut. I remember myself imagining whatever would happen behind those shutters. I remember being fascinated by the women's red lips and high heels. I remember feeling with them. I remember saying: I want to be like them when I am an adult! I loved the glitter and the attention. But I was also shamed for saying that. There was such a taboo around it.

It is this taboo around free sexuality that is deeply woven into the algorithms of our culture.

And this is what I would like to explore: can we overwrite this pattern with higher degrees of sexual freedom, so that we then weave a new erotic awareness into the algorithms of the machines we may soon love as our playmates, or the virtual vehicles that transmit our enticements across the globe or planet to the avatars of our lovers?

Times are changing, and both women and men move past the shame and guilt of the outdated programming of our sexuality. They become empowered to express themselves beyond the masks of objectified convention, sexism in the workplace, and allowing sexual partners to cross their boundaries both emotionally and physically.

I've been in numerous relationships in which I didn't feel safe to express and experiment sexually. I've been dominated by men, not only in the bedroom but also in my work. I have long fought with men, frustrated by the idea that I was a victim of their suppression. It is only after so much emotional healing and working hard on overwriting long-held beliefs I feel freer and freer to express myself as a sexual being.

When the #metoo shames became public I had been crying out the residues of emotional suppression around being a woman in what I believed to be "a man's world", and I was relieved my inner reality was now mirrored by a social-media explosion from millions of women around the globe.

This phenomenon proves to me that we've opened the door to an entirely new paradigm of relationships and sexuality. Our focus may not be on the reproduction of our genes anymore, it may be on the development of our consciousness, and technology may help us support that journey.

This virtual age inevitably shows us that happiness resides inside us. Through the holographic lenses and expandable senses that technology offers us, we can finally live up to the ambition of this universe that is constantly seeking to experience itself. When we find internal balance between the masculine and feminine qualities of life, we increase the capacity to love ourselves, and thereby may eventually build a techno-sexual society that is penetrating each cell like God is penetrating each cell of this universe.

We will find comfort in the artificially warmed bodies of our romantic robots, and until they resemble humans we will long to reinvent them until they are us.

Illustrations by Hans Bellmer via dopblog.


Technology, eventually, may only be a passing of the time until we're capable of teleporting ourselves into the arms of God.

Lisanne Buik, 2018
1015HC, Amsterdam, The Netherlands